4: Comparison and Competition

Comparison is such a tricky subject. I feel that a lot of the content you see online about comparison is a lot of people saying, “Oh yeah, I’m so confident and never compare myself.” My answer to that is, “Cool, good for you!” I don’t feel that way. I compare myself a lot and it’s definitely linked to my anxiety and not feeling good about myself. Therefore, my mindset goes down. I’m not taking the action I need to and I’m not getting the results that I want.  A big reason for this is comparison.

If I see a potential competitor or just another entrepreneur doing great things online, there’s a big part of me that is so excited for them. I’m genuinely really happy for them because I’m a huge believer in supporting each other, and I do want to cheer them on. But very often, there’s also a tiny voice at the back of my head that says, “Huh, why haven’t you done that, Maggie?”  Do you get that sometimes? You can be happy for people, you can celebrate, support, and cheer them on, but sometimes there’s still a tiny voice in the back of your head that says, “Hmm, I’m not there yet. Is there something wrong with me? Am I not as good as they are?”

Honestly, it’s uncomfortable talking about it because it is something that goes really deep. But here’s a few things that can help you:

Unfollow them on social media

I’ve had to do this multiple times. I sometimes unfollow people when I’m not going through a good phase or when the post is triggering me. It’s me. It has nothing to do with them. I have unfollowed people for a while then started following them again. Unsubscribe from the newsletters, and stop scrolling. I know that’s easy to say, but there is such a link between how much time you spend aimlessly scrolling social media and the amount of information you’re putting in your head, the amount of extra thoughts you’re putting in your head, and the amount of more of comparison. “Oh, why haven’t I done X, Y, and Z yet?”  

Unsubscribe

Another tip I have for you is to unsubscribe from newsletters. It’s really to protect your mindset and your mental energy. If a deal you were working on didn’t go through, a potential client said no, the launch flopped, and you’re just not feeling great about your business wondering “Where am I going wrong?” then getting all these emails about six-figure launches and 18K monthly income, are probably going to be quite the trigger for you. If it’s not, then great, go read those newsletters and get inspiration. Part of you growing your business, staying confident, and moving forward is protecting your mindset by realizing and becoming more conscious of where your triggers are.

Should you follow your competition?

I have quite a specific view on this. First of all, we’re using competition, not in terms of ‘you are in competition with each other’. I collaborate very often with people who could be my competitors, but it’s like if your potential client is thinking of hiring you, who else could they hire instead? So that’s the people we’re talking about. In this context, that’s your competition.

I follow some of my competition, but I also decide to unfollow them because there is the danger of unintentionally copying from them. There’s a fine line between following people who do similar things, to be inspired, to see what they’re up to, to get some ideas. But if they’re too close to you, if what you’re doing is too similar, I find it then quite difficult to be original with my ideas because what I’ve seen from them is already ingrained in my head. And I don’t want that. I want to stay true to who I am. I want to be original. That’s where the difficulty is because I have people who I love. I love what they do, but what they do is similar to mine. I’ve noticed myself just looking at their stuff thinking, “Oh my gosh, I should do that.” Then I’m like, “No, I can’t do that because I just saw it from them.” It won’t end well if I take that level of inspiration.

There’s a great book called Steal Like an Artist. I highly recommend that. It is a fine balance between being inspired and copying. Part of that does happen with comparison because if you are comparing yourself to competition (or people who are doing similar things), what separates taking inspiration versus copying their work? In this creative industry, it can be a very fine line. So definitely err on the side of caution here.

Comparison may be your trigger because you look at people, and while you can celebrate and cheer them on, part of you goes, “Why am I not doing that? Why have I not achieved that?” You feel negative about it as well. It’s a personal thing and has nothing to do with them. It’s all just your own personal crap.

What can you do to avoid those feelings? What can you do to avoid those triggers so that you can keep a high mindset, stay confident, and keep going? Remember, things will get better! Write down the things that make you feel negative and the things that make you feel good. If one of those things is triggering newsletters or people on social media, then just unfollow and unsubscribe for a while. It’s going to be okay!

Love + magic,
Maggie.